I got my first sign up!!! Although i don't think that they are motivated enough to fight for the market, but at least i got them working and i can be the one who motivate them to carve for money!! 

The other day when my dad was sending me home from college, he told me that he will not live long and might die soon. I was like huh?? He said that once before. He told me that when he told my mom, my mom didn't take it seriously. So, he told me. He doesn't want us to say he never tell us anything after he die. He wants me to keep up with my results even if he is gone. He always want me to concentrate on my studies and then don't want me to involve in the direct-selling thing which he thinks it's not things for a student to do. He then continue with his friend's children doing that and failed stories.

I wanted to really sit down and talk to him about this matter, but i don't know what is the better way to do it. I mean, the others can't do it, doesn't means that i can't as well, right?? Why does he have to think that i can't do it without even letting me try?? Isn't it unfair to me?? Perhaps things can work out my way, instead of his way which obviously failing...

Today, i was thinking about a way to approach him about my biz to make him understand that i'm not doing anything illegal. In the other way, my mom kept boosting my biz to the others without knowing really what is it. I can do the explaination but not at this time when i'm not well equip with the knowledge. She, by doing that, might bring disadvantages to me.

After attending a training and a business presentation for the past 2
days, i felt that i have been "brain wash" by them. But it looks ok for
me to be brain washed in order to succeed in this career. I have to be
confident about what am i doing, then only i could do well, right? So,
to be success in this, i ought to be brain wash!!

After seeing the response from a friend whom i invited them to attend
the BP, which was quite positive, i felt that " I CAN DO THIS!!! ".
Some how to have positive feedback, gives me motivation to work harder
to archieve my target - $$$

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I have been surfing for
Australian universities for a few days. Those which offer Nutrition
& Dietetics were Deakin University, Victoria Universitiy,
University of Sydney, University of Canberra, UNiversity of Western
Sydney, NewCastle University and La Trobe University. Well, as usual,
in order to be able to go for it, i need $$$. Either i earn the tuition
fees by work hard on my network marketing biz or i do study loan.

My trial results was ok for Biology and Chemistry but it sucks for my Mathematics.

Chemistry
Paper 1 (MCQ) : 36/40 = A (90%)
Paper 2 : 50/60 = B (83%)
Paper 3 : 25/25 = A (100%)

Biology
Paper 1 (MCQ) : 31/40 = B (78%)
Paper 2 : 49/60 = B (82%)
Paper 3 : 18/25 = B (72%)

Mathematics
Paper 1 : 44/75 = D (59%)
Paper 4 : 32/50 = C (64%)

My brother's girlfriend will be coming over to my house AGAIN... I sort of like so bored of it already. I hate it especially when my brother will be using the car all the time sending her here and there when i need the car to fetch my student. I wonder who is paying for the petrol for all the travelling and also car maintanence. Almost 80% sure, my brother is paying those. He as an accountant don't know how to calculate that. Yeah, right. Love blinds his eyes. Well, love blinds everybody eyes.

I just transfered RM2249.30 for QN. Hope that i made a right decision to be poor now and have a better life then. Now, i'm very THE POOR one. Hopefully i could get my first downline as soon as possible to kick the thing start. God, please bless me...

Today isn't my day. My dad woke me up so damn early in the morning (6am) while my paper was scheduled at 8.15am. Why do he have to be so extreme about the time?! It's just a trial exam for God sake!!! I reach college as early as 7.30am. 45minutes waiting for the exam while i could actually have 15minutes more of sleep. It could be if i get the 15minutes sleep, i might be able to have a clearer mind to answer the exam questions!!! Whatever it is, i was really mad this early in the morning.

Then, after i finished my exam, when he was sending me home, he kept saying that my brother only knows how to get angry when the bill isn't paid but never do things properly. It was a similar conversation like yesterday, I felt like telling him off because it's HIS OWN ATTITUDE which made my brother to become such a person!!! Everytime he is the one who doesn't want to ask my brother to go and pay the bills, and now he is complaining that he had to do everything for my brother??!! Come on!! It's YOU who made him to behave like a big boss!!! So, stop complaining if you still feeling that "don't want to ask him" towards my brother!!!

Back at home, my mom as usually wanting me to look after the baby when it's supposed to be her things to do. Ok, wel, since the kiddo is playing on her own, i don't mind. But when my dad came down, he went to play with her and then he left. The baby of course wanting to play!! But he just went down to read his paper leaving the baby crying to play. WTF!!! If you don't want to take care of her, why come to disturb her at the first place??!! My mom screaming ask me to let her sleep this and that, the whole house was so noisy!! I got so frustrated, as if my day hasn't gone worst, they want to add more nuisance. When my mom came out of the kitchen, i went down to room, and here i am blogging.

When i told my mom that i don't know how to answer my Math paper, she started going on "don't study la, read storybook la, now don't know already" then "all don't know ar?" then "eat egg lor??" then "see you next time still don't want to study anot!!" and so on. Yeah, right. I tell her that it's not because i like to be mentally tortured. But that's the way she is and i, already know she'll say things like that, still expecting her to say someting nice to me. I better go back and dream on... She'll never say "good" things.

I feel very unhappy, depressed, moodless or whatever you name it, these days. In front of people, i can laugh and smile and jokes, but none of them came out from my heart for real. When i was laughing, i can be thinking "i'm such a liar" in my heart...

I don't have the mood to study although i knew that i should be studying as my trial exam is only 1 week away. I don't have the mood to do anything. I just want to be with people who talks to me. Staying at home or time being with my family become the worst thing i ever had. They don't talk like normal people do when they are with their family. My parents always complain to me whereas my brother will never talk to me (but i have already used to my brother's attitude).

Last night, i took a chance to go out for some relaxing moment. I went to Serena's house with YY. We chit-chatted for like an hour plus. I laughed and joked a lot with both of them, but some how the happiness didn't stay long with me. When we (YY and i) left Serena's house, i took YY to a rounding. Normally the route takes me 20minutes to finish, i finished it in almost 10minutes which means i sped all the way. But actually i didn't really speed because there are still quite a number of vehicles on the road. The maximum speed was just 130km/h last night. My brother can easily reach 140km/h during day time where the traffic is quite heavy.

The feeling of speed makes me feel a little bit better but when i get back to face all the problems from m family financial status, everything seems the same as before. Sigh... Supposingly when my brother go out to work, the financial status should be getting better, but somehow it is vice versa. Anyone can tell me what is going on???

Last night, i made a decision to join network-marketing. If i joined a month earlier, i think my parents will not need to argue for the past 2 days. So, i don't want to have this again, and i decided to join. I have also thought of a great idea which is to share the same account with YY and i give her 30% commission. This is due to my time is limited. I need to sit for exam. So by giving her 30%, she provide me support and transport, i give her chance to gain experience. The problem now is that i don't have 2k plus with me. And the amount of YY can give is not enough. Sigh... I need to remain my decision and not to change anymore as this is what i can do to end all the quarreling in my house.

Yesterday, my parents argued because of my brother's car loan. Today they argued because of my brother's car insurance and road tax. Today's case begun when my dad asked my mom to borrow him RM800 for the car insurance and road tax. My mom was very unhappy, well, she didn't let out all her unhappiness yesterday, so as expected, she started to say things which are on her own logic.

Even after my dad went out of the house, she still continued to grumble (or shall i call it "scold"). I shouted at her to shut up. It wasn't my fault for all these things to happen!!! My dad has already gone out, she keeps screaming (i was at home with her and baby Janice) to torture my ears and mental condition. I think if these continue everyday, i'll one day scream at them that i want to be in mental hospital rather then be with them.

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If i kept thinking of the money problem, i'll definately get mental disorder. But i really hope that i could have some ways to stop this. I have been thinking back about the network marketing biz which i have stop thinking for a month. Whether to join or not, i couldn't decide. Sigh... Anyone in this world can tell me what is the best to do??

For the past few days, my dad had been telling me that he is not going to live long and he is going to die soon. No, he didn't get any deadly sickness. All he got is just depression which caused by himself. From the $$ matter of course. His management skill, i can say, it sucks!! Back to my point where he was telling me what to do after he dies.

1. Sell his car and get a car for me to get to college as it's pretty useless to depend on my brother.
   
2. Study hard as we might be financially tight. (hoping that i'll be eligible to get scholarships.)
   

Well, i got my own thinking. I don't think i'll follow 100% what he said. I'll study for sure. Besides that i might involve in the network-marketing job which i have considered for months.